2:29pm

I think there’s something to be said about being a little bit more shameless and a little bit more unabashed about sharing things mindfully and respectfully online. As long as it’s with the self-awareness that self-awareness of that involves removal of expectations and the detrimental meaning-making if people don’t respond as I expect them to. The other thing that’s related to that, to keep in mind, is that the people in the places that don’t have the grace to accept me for who I am are not really the places that I want to exist and share myself on.

12:19pm

I feel this tension between sharing things online as a way to connect with others (and do collective sense making), but also being self-conscious about being too irreverent and not respecting people’s attention. The very fact that I’m mindful of that is a good sign, and can guide what I decide to share. Perhaps I’m overcorrecting in the holding-back department, and the idea of magnum opuses and large works of art are rarer and “higher risk” (too much of “putting all eggs in one basket”) because I haven’t as much validated resonance of that thing, nor have I given people the opportunity to come along for the ride.

8:46am

Toying with the idea of a uniform for my work days. A half uniform; for my remote work job. Just as much as how present ourselves to others, it also matters in how we prime ourselves for whatever we’re about to do. Its showing respect to self, others. It can signal a transition (ie. I’m getting ready for work-mode). Its barking up the same tree of putting gear out the night before to make it more likely to exercise in the morning.

Meagan presents herself well every day, despite not going into the office anymore. I very much have started wearing pajamas all morning and rolled into work wearing the same shirt I slept in.

Some of my heroes also wear “uniforms” Magritte, Van Neistat. I have a workwear, natural colors, minimal logos aesthetic that I’d like to pull on more. Deciding what looks good to me and sticking with that removes an element of choice and frees up my mind.

6:35am

First full day in Brooklyn. Stepping out of our (co-opted culture) hotel. Summer humidity ramping up, the warm, heavy wind hits me in the face, channeled through a brownstone wind tunnel. So much movement, so many people. Everybody doing something, hurriedly. Everybody on top of each other, all walks of life; but in democratic sort of way in a way. Sounds, smells, most of it unpleasant. But its alive, vibrant chaotic.

Strategically dodging the sun in shade and shadows, we arrive at a Williamsburg coffee bar. Every single table is taken, every single person seated at a booth facing outwards, not one person looks up as people walk in, not a single person is facing another. Everyone is on a Mac, headphones on. Is this any better than the closed-off car culture I’m used to? Arriving at places like this?

I remember how cool I used to think I was, Being an early adopter out on a walks with my white headphones in. Now it’s flipped. Increasing numbers of people in zombie mode, out in the world, barely looking up as they “share” sidewalks, crossing streets as if their indifference would stop 2,000 pounds of metal in motion. No wonder so many people feel lonely in this modern world.

7:03am

It’s so green, it’s so lush here. But also so flat and sparsely populated.